Need More Rage

Because WordPress blogs is suddenly bein’ very cranky about insistin’ I log inta WordPress fer ta leave a comment, you may be gettin’ directed ta this archive ‘stead of me actual blog. Fer the up-ta-date amazin’ virility, click here.

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Hello world!

Welcome to WordPress.com. This is your first post. Edit or delete it and start blogging!

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Vox no More

It just be too much of a pain to keep posting the same crap on two different blogs. So I's shuttin' this one down. All future bloggin to be done on needmorerage.blogspot.com .

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It’s Me Birthday!

Check out this strapping young fellow, you buggers.

It were one year ago today that I picked up an axe, walked over to Kaltunk, and announced "I wish to be a Hero! Tell me what I must do."

And he said "Buggered if I know. Maybes you could do somethings about all these pigs what been diggin' in the vegetable garden."

And the rest be history.

Gonna go bake a Delicious Chocolate Cake. Anybody want some?

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Branching Out

So I's sittin' in the World's End Tavern in Shattrath with me friend Hydrargyrum. We's just hanging out, quaffing ale and trying to outdoes each other with fishing stories. I'll admits it, she had me beat with the one about haulin' The Lurker Below outta a hole in the ice in one of the lakes in Dun Morogh.

After a bit she says to me "Rats, I gotta favor to ask of you. We got this bright young prospect of a warrior for this Warsong Gulch clan I help out with, but he needs an RL sponsor and all me friends are full up. Now, I know you're a Hordie and all, but would you be willing to consider it?"

Now, I knows what yer thinking. Horde vs. Alliance. Warcraft. Eternal Struggle. Death to the enemy. No mercy. Be ruthless. And all that. Here's me response. Warsong Gulch ain't some epic struggle for the fate of the universe, it's a trade dispute. And the Warsong Outriders ain't really part of the Horde. Plus, I've always thought they was a buncha ninnies.

So I says to her, "Yeah, maybe. Tell me about him."

"Okay, he's a Night Elf. Name's Dakoneris. His hair's kind of a mess, and his ears do that annoying boingy-boingy thing when he runs, but it doesn't really matter since I'm a gnome and can't see that high up anyway. He's got great legs, though, and his ass *giggle* is sooo cute. I mean, *blush* I could just … But that's not really what you are asking about, is it?"

I shakes me head slowly, all patient-like. Gotta be patient with them bouncy gnomes.

"All right. He's a warrior, like you, but only in his tenth season. Not as strong as you, of course, but a little quicker maybe. And since he's an elf, he can do that whole shadowmeld-charge-the-unsuspecting ambush thing, which is uber-cool. He doesn't have a pot to piss in yet, but that's what twinking is for."

"About that," I says. "How can I twink him if he's Alliance, and on your server to boot?"

"Oh, don't worry – I'll take care of it. Hee-hee. I'm gonna run his sexy little butt through low level dungeons till his eyes bleed."

Some might consider this to be all metaphorical and whatnot, but I knows Hydra. She is an almost evil warlock. I pity the poor young night elf. On the other hand, just 'cause the Outriders is ninnies don't mean things gotta be easy for they's opponents neither.

So I agrees to be this young elf's RL sponsor. We shall see how this thing shakes out, now, won't we? No matter what, I expect Hydra's gonna have her some fun.

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Road Trip!

I's been a blacksmith almost as long as I's been a warrior, and in me time I've been to a great buncha forges. Most of the time they's pretty easy to get to. Ya ride into town, hop off yer mount, pull yer hammer outta the backpack, and get started working up a righteous sweat while the metal sings to you. Easy as whackin' bunnies. Even if you can't find the forge right off, you can often ask a guard or someones, and they'll be happy to say "It's right over there, rocks-fer-brains."

Likes I said, easy.

But some forges is harder to get to than others. Thun'grim Firegaze set his up in the middle of the Barrens. "East of the Crossroads" I was told. Fegh! He were on top of a bloody mountain! And Galvan the Ancient set up his forge in the middle of the jungle in Stranglethorn Vale. Fuggin tigers walk up and bite yer arse while yer trying to Smelt On, Smelt Off.

But I'd have to say that the hardest forge to get to is also the most amazing one of all. It's the Great Forge in the heart of Ironforge. And I wanted to see it, at least once. Maybe hammer out some felsteel armor while I's there. Swaps stories with me fellow smiths. "But Ratter," you sez, "ain't Ironforge full of them ankle-biting dwarves, who don't take kindly to surprise visitors droppin' in (especially orcs)?" Well, yeah. I said it were hard to get to, didn't I?

I figures I'm gonna do me best to look unthreatening, so as to put the locals at their ease. I takes off me armor and weapons and puts on me best civilian tuxedo. I rode me Brewfest Ram, so's to show I honors the local customs. And I prepares to wave and state me intentions to peacefully tour the forge and then depart in a calm, unthreatening voice.

Pfft. Fat lotta good that did me. Soon as the guards got over the "What the fuhg? An orc just ran past us!" shock, they was on me. I didn't fight back, just kept pushing toward the Great Forge. It were chaos. Guards everywhere, hunters shootin' they's bows and sending in they's pets, and at least one human rogue stealthed her way in so she could cop a feel. I weren't sure I were gonna make it, but fortunately I's a tough bugger and I got around a corner and there it were.

The Great Forge.

It were magnificent.

Then the guards got me down and slapped the chains on me. Then they dragged me out of town and tossed me off a cliff, the one overlooking the cemetery. Oof. That hurt. A bunch. Still, I was glad I done it.

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Is Done

Hauled me green butt up to Revered with the Aldorks this weekend. Goal and priority Number the One. Means I got to buy their heavy-duty can opener-resistant chestpiece. I pulled out all the stops and paid a tailor to stitch me up a Cloak of Eternity as well, and got Zinzi to do her enchanting mojo. All together, my tanking kit gives me the following (unbuffed) data:

Health: 13k
Armor: 12.3k
Defense: 522

Is not bad, I think. There's enough wiggle room there that I could swap out some gems for +hit ones, to help with aggro generation. Some other day.

Man, I really look like a fuhggin' armored clown, don't I. /sigh

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